Well today’s post is an admission of insecurities and fears. So buckle up and get ready for a ride from the mom-to-be. Today I come to you feeling like the new mom. As I begin the third trimester I have been hit with a truck size load of worries, fears, and insecurities. I am coming to the fast conclusion that life is on the brink of changing. Did any of you mama’s feel this way?
Changes: Life has changed but it is really going to change come October. Less date nights!! Yikes I look forward to this time with my hubby and love how it keeps the hubster and I connected. Freedom. Other moms have told me that I will value my alone time once the baby is here. Is it really going to be so scarce that I recognize the value of it?
Worries: Becoming a parent is a blessing and a privilege in my opinion. With this being said it is the task of a lifetime. You are responsible for this life. A life that you will inevitable shape and mold. How can you be for sure you are doing a good job? How can you feel secure when you get ready to leave your child with someone else? How can you feel secure going to sleep those first few nights? (I assure you that I am not typically a worrier, but parenthood has brought this out in me. Is this normal?
And finally. . . .
My insecurities: How do I know that I will not pass on my faults to this child? I am by NO means perfect and am a work in progress. With this being said I don’t expect my child to be perfect but I want this child to not make the same mistakes I have made is this a realistic expectation.?
So let me hear from you mama’s to be are you feeling at all like me?
And mom’s out there, what can we do to prepare ourselves from these worries?
I would have also considered myself a non-worrier. Then came my daughter! I felt like I was constantly overwhelmed with worries … Is she getting enough milk, is she sleeping enough, is she too over stimulated, does she have reflux, and the list went on and on and on. I know not everyone is a Christian, but I am and it is a huge part of my life. I constantly clung to Philippians 4: 6-7 which basically says pray about everything and worry about nothing and the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. Hope that is encouraging!
Erin, you will do what you believe is the best for your family and your child and it will all just come 2nd nature. Of course nobody wants their children to make the same mistakes as we did but we also learned great things and it shaped who we are today so I’d say they’re not all bad. It’s normal to become a “worrier” when becoming a parent, but it’s also important that you remember your child feeds off your feelings and anxiety so I think it’s important not to get too worried about little things (and you’ll figure out what’s important and not important to worry about as you become a mama!)
As far as life changes. Oh yes, life changes but it’s such an awesome change! For instance, tonight we went to a friends 30th birthday party and it revolved around the kids instead of drinking or going out. It was in their back yard with lots of kids present. They set up baby pools and a slip n’ slide and it was so much fun! The definition of “fun” changes I think as we get older and start becoming parents. Sure, I think back to college days and life before Kylee and think how much fun it was and how I miss my girlfriends and dancing at clubs, but then I watch Kylee dance around the living room and smile that I’m home instead.
And lastly, yes it is true, you will not have much “Erin” time anymore. (Sorry!) You will learn to value the few minutes in the shower you have to yourself (until they are old enough and start hoping in the shower with you that is), or the drive to the bank, etc. It does get tiring being a mom 24/7 and not being yourself anymore but it becomes the best job in the world and any “selfishness” you have left in you will disappear the minute you become a mama so it won’t bother you as much as it might now just thinking of it.
You will be a great mama, Erin! Remember everyone wants the best for their children and everyone worries about the same things, but like any new situation we face in our lives, we live and learn! Also remember that you’re not alone. We have this great community of mama’s now to reach out to for support, advice and pick-me-up’s!
The night leading up to my son’s birth, I cried to my husband when we got in bed. It was like I was mourning the end of “just the two of us”. I knew life would never be the same, but in a good way. I was so excited to meet our little baby, but also sad for the end of this stage of life. Let me tell you, it only gets better!! You will always worry and have anxiety when it comes to kids, but try not to let it run your life. Try to enjoy these last few months!!
THANK YOU MAMA’S for all your words of WISDOM they are much appreciated!! How grateful I am for this growing community of Mommies!!!!